Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
