try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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