oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
