theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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