I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
