worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
