took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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