Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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