I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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