He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
