I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
