Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
