im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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