Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
