I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
