mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
