Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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