help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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