How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
