R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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