The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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