idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
