In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
