Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
