lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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