Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
