Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
