is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
