He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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