Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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