No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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