Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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