Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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