So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
