how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
