I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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