bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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