I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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