girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
