youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
