Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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