I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
