i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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