Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
