Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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