One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
