Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
