i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its liver damage thursday
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
