we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
