Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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