I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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