i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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