guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
