Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
not ubering you a puppy
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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