So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize