He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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