After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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