We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
