So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
