1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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