So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
