i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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