PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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