I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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