Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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