Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
