my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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