GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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