No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize