i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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