I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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