good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
